You Can't Decide Who You Love
by HuddyFanForever10
Summary: House and Cuddy go through b a bad situation, which leaves Cuddy fighting for her life. Afterwards House sees Cuddy as she is lying in a coma. She seems real, but is she? Will this be the beginning of Huddy or the end of Huddy? READ AND REVIEW GUYS!
1. You Can't Decide Who You Love

I am so mad! House hasn't done clinic duty in over a week! Now I have to walk all the way to his office just to yell at him. Uhh! Sometimes that man makes me so mad, but other times. Other times I can barely control myself,sometimes he makes me melt. During these last few years, I kind of hoped that one day we would be together, but as the years to on, it seems less likely. We probably wouldn't work. We would get together, be happy for a while, break up for some stupid reason, and then we wouldn't talk for weeks. Eventually one of us would so something drastic, and then one of us would leave and never come back.

After the elevator opened I made the short walk to his office. It was almost midnight and only a few doctors were left, most had went home. House always stayed late, and there he was, sitting at his desk, reading a case file. I walked in and he looked up.

" To what do I owe this pleasure?" He was always using sarcasm to hide his feelings.

" You haven't done clinic duty in over a week." He removed his glasses and I took a seat across from him.

" Sorry if my patient is dying at a bad time. He's bleeding and clotting, pretty soon he will be dead." I laughed.

" You'll make up any excuse to get out of clinic duty won't you?" He laughed.

" Why are you even here so late?" That answer was simple.

" Same reason you are, no one to get home to." He nodded.

" Okay Cuddy, you didn't just come up here to yell at me, what did you really come up here for?" Maybe he's right, maybe I came here to say something else.

" Well, I do have a-" Just then a man walked in, he looked familiar but I couldn't place him. He pointed to House.

" Your House right?" He shook his head.

" Nope, the brunette." He pointed to me, I shook my head at him.

" No, that's Dr. Cuddy." Wow, he knew who I was, House laughed.

" Sorry, it's just the last time someone asked me that they shot me." House and the guy started laughing.

" Well, I'll leave you two alone to talk." I stood up and walked towards the door but the man walked in front of me.

" Excuse me!" That was rude. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a gun.

" No one's leaving, especially you." Oh my god. House stood up from his desk.

" What the hell do you think you're doing? Let her go!" The man shook his head.

" She's the reason why." He lead me to House's desk. House looked confused.

" What do you mean?" This wasn't making sense to me either.

" About a year ago, you treated my wife, she died. You took away what I loved, no I'm going to take away what you love. " He pointed the gun directly at my head, House jumped.

" What make's you think I love her?" Thanks House.

" I have been following you for a while now, it's pretty obvious." He pointed the gun at me, and it fired. I just felt myself falling.

Then there was another shot, at first I thought it was House but the man fell to the floor and his gun went flying to the other side of the room, wow House kept a gun in his desk. Then panic hit me, I couldn't move, everything felt numb, but I could still speak. House was at my side in a matter of seconds, he looked like he could cry any second.

"Cuddy, I'm sorry, you were right, everyone around me does get hurt. Im sorry I love you."

"House, you can't decide who you love, trust me I have tried. "He smiled. Just then Wilson came running into the room.

"Go get help!" He ran out of the room, leaving House and I alone. He ran his fingers through my hair, I sighed. The pain was starting to feel I overwhelming.

"House, it hurts, I'll always love you." He shook his head.

"No Cuddy, don't you dare talk like that. " Without my control my eyes began to fall.

"Cuddy no! Don't you dare close your eyes!" There was nothing I could do, the world was fading away. The last thing I saw was House's lips, they were speaking something, but I couldn't hear anything. Then there was nothing but blackness. The world as I once knew it was gone forever.


	2. I'm Really Here

She might be dead because of me, and all because I love her. She got shot, and I have not even a scratch on me. I slowly moved my fingers to her neck, and much to my surprise she had a pulse. It was faint but there! I grabbed my jacket off the floor and applied pressure to her head, and then Wilson came running in, he looked absolutely panicked.

"Go get help!" He nodded and ran off. Within seconds about half a dozen doctors and nurses ran into my office. They pushed me away and loaded Cuddy on to a stretcher. Wilson came up to me with tears in his eyes.

" What the hell happened?" I shook my head.

" A man whose wife I treated shot her." He looked confused.

" Why did he shoot her not you?"

" He said that because I took away something he loved, he wanted to take away something that I loved." Wilson had no expression on his face. This was unbelieveable. There was somewhere else I needed to be right now.

Sitting in the OR observation room was hard. I could see everything that was going on but I couldn't do anything. After a three hour surgery she was taken to ICU, where I got a good look at her file. The surgeons had removed the bullet, but she had a major brain bleed, and her brain was severely swollen. And according to this, I am to be her attending doctor if I am able. Her previous doctor gave her only a 25% chance of making a recovery, and has given her family a week to decide if they want to continue life's support . Now I needed to see her.

She looked exactly like herself, she looked at peace. All was normal except for her breathing tube and the lifes support machines. I pulled a chair up to her bed, and took her hand, and all of my emotion just came running out.

" I'm sorry, you were right, people who get close to me do get hurt." I placed a kiss on her forehead, but I was interrupted.

" What are you doing?" I turned to see her standing in the corner.

" Cuddy?" She nodded. This was confusing.

" But, you're laying right here, how?" She shook her head.

" I don't know, all I know is that I was shot, but why? Everyone keeps saying you were there." There is really no point in lying.

" I was, you were shot in my office, by a former patient's husband." She shook her head.

" Why did he shoot me?"

" He shot you because his wife died under my care, and he said since I took away someone he loved he wanted to take away someone that I loved. Do you remember?" She looked straight at me.

" You can't decide who you love." I nodded.

" That was one of the last things that we said to each other."

"You do know that no one else can see me, right?" That's when it hit me.

" You don't know everything that I do, so you are not a dream or a hallucination. I must be imagining this." She walked towards me and placed her hand on my shoulder.

" I'm really here House, believe it." There's no way.

" House, who are you talking to?" I turned towards the door, it was Wilson. I turned around, but Cuddy was gone.

" I just saw Cuddy." Wilson shook his head in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

" I just saw her standing here, I just had a conversation with her." Then his doctoring kicked in.

" Any other mental problems, any drugs, any Vicodin?" I shook my head.

" Nothing."

" House maybe it's PTSD, you just saw the woman you love get shot right in front of you." I nodded.

" Maybe, I think I am going to lie down for a while, call me if anything happens." He nodded, I picked up the file and headed to my office. Maybe Wilson was right, maybe it was PTSD, but one thing is for sure, I wish it was real. If being crazy is what it takes to see her, maybe it's worth it, I know it is.


	3. Attending

I seriously think I am insane. Cuddy is laying a floor away in a hospital bed with almost no measurable brain activity. So how could I see her? Maybe Wilson was on to something, maybe I took a large dose of vicodin which caused me to forget I took it, or maybe it is PTSD. I mean I just seen the woman I love get shot right in front of me. At least the bastard that did this to her is laying in the morgue, and can never hurt us, more importantly her again. This is what happens when I get close to people, one of us always gets hurt, and this time Cuddy may be paying the ultimate price. If she dies, I don't even want to think about what would happen, my life would just completely fall apart. My will to live would be gone. Maybe me seeing Cuddy was my brains way of being able to cope with what has happened today,maybe I need to see her again.

The walk to her room seemed endless, and the whole way I just keep thinking about what I can do to get her healthy again. Of course the doctor in me knows that there isn't anything that I can do medically, but no matter what I keep thinking I can do something. As I approach the glass doors I still can't believe this is really her. Only hours ago she was yelling at me to do clinic duty, now she is barely alive.

I walked in slowly, I almost feel afraid after what happened earlier, I looked around the room and no Cuddy besides the one laying in the bed. I took a seat in the chair next to the bed, and took her hand.

" Cuddy… you need to live, I need you. You're my glue, and without you I will just self destruct, like I always do when we are apart. Please Cuddy, even if you forget that we said I love you, just live please Cuddy I need you!" I just started sobbing, and I didn't even care that these walls are glass, and that everyone can see. This time is the one time that I absolutely don't care.

" You really do have feelings.." I looked up and sure enough there she was.

" You're back!" She nodded and walked towards me, and she was still wearing that amazing dress.

" House, I'm worried. Julia's taking to another doctor and saying that she is going to take me off of life support." I gasped.

"No! She can't do that! " Cuddy slowly nodded.

" She can, and they said that if you don't cure me or I don't wake up in a week they are going to end my life. House, we need to fix this." She sat down on the end of the bed, and looked at her body.

" Cuddy, you know as well as I do, there is no way that I can fix this, it's a coma, not a case of the sniffles. If I could fix this I would, I would even trade places if I could. Im sorry. " She stood up.

" Listen House, if we can't fix this we need to find a way to convince Julia that I am going to get better. You're my attending, so you call the shots, not some doctor. " I stood up.

" Okay, we can figure this out. " She nodded.

Maybe this would be alright after all, but I am still wondering, how I am seeing Cuddy.


	4. We All Want What We Can't Have

I seriously think I am insane. Cuddy is laying a floor away in a hospital bed with almost no measurable brain activity. So how could I see her? Maybe Wilson was on to something, maybe I took a large dose of vicodin which caused me to forget I took it, or maybe it is PTSD. I mean I just seen the woman I love get shot right in front of me. At least the bastard that did this to her is laying in the morgue, and can never hurt us, more importantly her again. This is what happens when I get close to people, one of us always gets hurt, and this time Cuddy may be paying the ultimate price. If she dies, I don't even want to think about what would happen, my life would just completely fall apart. My will to live would be gone. Maybe me seeing Cuddy was my brains way of being able to cope with what has happened today,maybe I need to see her again.

The walk to her room seemed endless, and the whole way I just keep thinking about what I can do to get her healthy again. Of course the doctor in me knows that there isn't anything that I can do medically, but no matter what I keep thinking I can do something. As I approach the glass doors I still can't believe this is really her. Only hours ago she was yelling at me to do clinic duty, now she is barely alive.

I walked in slowly, I almost feel afraid after what happened earlier, I looked around the room and no Cuddy besides the one laying in the bed. I took a seat in the chair next to the bed, and took her hand.

" Cuddy… you need to live, I need you. You're my glue, and without you I will just self destruct, like I always do when we are apart. Please Cuddy, even if you forget that we said I love you, just live please Cuddy I need you!" I just started sobbing, and I didn't even care that these walls are glass, and that everyone can see. This time is the one time that I absolutely don't care.

" You really do have feelings.." I looked up and sure enough there she was.

" You're back!" She nodded and walked towards me, and she was still wearing that amazing dress.

" House, I'm worried. Julia's taking to another doctor and saying that she is going to take me off of life support." I gasped.

"No! She can't do that! " Cuddy slowly nodded.

" She can, and they said that if you don't cure me or I don't wake up in a week they are going to end my life. House, we need to fix this." She sat down on the end of the bed, and looked at her body.

" Cuddy, you know as well as I do, there is no way that I can fix this, it's a coma, not a case of the sniffles. If I could fix this I would, I would even trade places if I could. Im sorry. " She stood up.

" Listen House, if we can't fix this we need to find a way to convince Julia that I am going to get better. You're my attending, so you call the shots, not some doctor. " I stood up.

" Okay, we can figure this out. " She nodded.

Maybe this would be alright after all, but I am still wondering, how I am seeing Cuddy.

" So wait, are you in my head or really here?" This is a trick question.

" House, I've told you before, I am really here." If she was in my head, thats what she would have answered, you can't lie in your subconscious.

" It's just so confusing. " She nodded.

" I know. How do you think I feel? My life is on the line and the only person who can see me is a vicodin addict." That's true, but maybe she isn't real, like I said if this is really her it's unbelievable.

" Okay, I believe you. And I think I found a way to convince Julia. We can just get some other coma patient's print out of an EEG and just say it's yours. There is no way that can prove it isn't yours." Cuddy sat there with her thinking face. Which is her puckering her lips and looking off to the left, and a minute later she spoke.

" Okay, it's a start, and it just might work." She smiled. Maybe we do have a chance, maybe after all this Cuddy and I will get another chance.


End file.
